Me, myself had been struggled for few months because of the happens that make me realize there is many things u treat me so different. That were not about how good or bad u treat me but I feel your heart is getting away.
As the moment u told me that u are going to give up the relationship, seriously I cant take it because it sounds a lame excuse. My heart was broken and the time u keep avoid to communicate with me to this matter. U began impatient, avoid and totally unclear when respond to me.
I was clueless...Maybe during the period I was too emotional.. but what's wrong for a woman to chase for love? U weren't giving the correct answer and u was hiding something from me too.
I was lonely... When my heart broke into pieces, the one who always standby me is not you anymore.. but its the time and space..
I was nervous... The moments u ignore me more the more insecure I get.
I was depress... This is the worst situation I ever face in my life! I cried everyday when u ask me stay at your home but u insisted that we sleep separate room that u wanted to focus on your work. I understood but this is not u anymore... last time no matter how busy u are u like to grab me into your arm embrace together into dream. One thing U show me u're hiding something is U get mad when I try to help u see the map (WAZE) while u're driving.. ( Did u remember this/?) I guess u was not remember at all...
I am really depressed!! I cried because I know I'm losing u gradually... I become mad, hatred, and even negative as u said! When the woman u love is crying, u wont come to comfy but u blaming her... I am on the edge of depression... I was wake up with the anxious mind, losing my positive energy, affected unhealthy conditions... BUT WHO CARE?
Till I found out that's a MIRACLE appear in my life... I was doubted whether should I tell you the truth or not? What's the reason u take the responsibility?? What u had respond to me cause the truth been swollen back into my throat... I was really clueless... Are u still loving me or not... Till I saw the evidence.. Everything is end...
Even the promise that u gave me is ruined! Suddenly I feel my life is meaningless due to my jobless, our failed communication, our lost, my giving towards our love... everything became a nightmare...
I cant either feel you or myself... I'm getting weak while I got to know the happened... I cant feel my heartbeat and its heartbeat... The bleed was hell seriously flood over my consciousness... I know it getting worst of my condition.. I cant even protect myself...
I don't know how many time had called and shout on u.. Im going crazy and even you too !
I shout to GOD, am I deserved all the thing ?? I got nobody can help me... HOPELESS!
Once the despair attack me again and again... the worst thing happen...
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10 May 2013-- Everything start mess..
I purposely come back here again to collect all my stuff and ready to move on my life...
What make you to feel reluctant to me when I start packing my stuff??
The last sweet moment u gave me is you try to grab me and embrace me hardly. I almost let myself lost again . I can feel tonight u're so care bout me. But ur attitude still the same.. U don like to express what you really think of...
From the days I know u, U were the person who is kind, need to be care, need to be understand. All the sweet moments and love u gave me will become memory soon. I told myself handle thing smoothly... but end up we're like enemy,..
Your ignorance really killing me. I feel like I'd been abandoned. But when U try to be good to me, I doubted. I cant differentiate the mess. I don't know what you want. I got my answer to be steady and to solve all things peafully...
BUT!!! My heart melted when you trying to pulled me back.. I don know whether I feel wrong or not. U miss me, but u never want to mention now.
Again, all the negative thinking come to remind me whats wrong wit h us.
I cant take the pain and sorrow anymore... I lost myself...
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Few days past...
I still miss you. I told myself to let u go for what u want to chase for..
U deserved better. I told u again. Just don let yourself to mess into some unfair relationship.
I understand if I were the right one U love, U will never sacrificed me, U will never ignore me again and again.
This our destiny, U start care of other, I m become nobody for u. I controlled myself not to interrupt your life. That was hard, I believe time will heal me. What I lost also what u lost.. U also being upset when I was being mad and accused you.
One thing, don ever ask me to not think too much while the thing happen to me that u don care. Everyone told me to stay strong included u. When I need your care is not possible to happen anymore. The only thing I can share with u is just that one. Nobody can...
I was reading the SKYPE conversation history... U may lucky to not think of that coz ur pc was lost...
I love the way when we beginning. its all about caring and understand... Till we stay together, we just know the reality happen need to be communicate always.
My failure to the be one who can accompany u the rest of life.
I am sorry for everything.
The end of our love.
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