爱·

今日语录：

至：

从开始写部落格到现在，这里记载多数是自己“悲惨”的回忆。

开心是有的，不过我只能把不开心的事情以文字发泄出来。

今天有感而发： 就算我没有情人不要紧，我有朋友。
就算没朋友陪我也可以自己做自己喜欢的事。

只有一个我不行，也不想去面对。
就算爸爸不爱我，我还有妈妈。
妈妈是世界上不会遗弃我和兄弟姐妹。

有一首情歌，我喜欢他的情感。但是是英文，妈妈不会。
但我想把它献给您。

YOU ALWAYS BE MY BABY~ BY DAVID COOK.

从小，妈妈就把我们当宝。有什么事情都会替我们着想
等到我们长大了想要飞了
她还是相信我们的爱是不会变的。

对我来说，爱情是变幻无穷，不可靠的。
妈妈的爱是永远不会变的！

妈妈我爱您！

送旧迎新

25 December 2013

Dear Christmas,

I make a wish...
Last 2 years there is someone ever special in my life spent the festive with me.
This year he is having a new 'present' from Santa Clause. He was saying this is his last one. * Please let this come true*

Finally I found my life is more fruitful after I left the 'dream' since he request. Even though sometime loneliness might appear, I handle it with focus on some activities I like. Well, that much more meaningful than keep recall the past.

The past were lessons and experiences I got to get rid of.
The past were the moment we cannot get back.
The past were the processes of growth.

Its time to RING OUT THE OLD YEAR AND RING IN THE NEW YEAR~~!!

Bye bye my past~~

Grave of love

15 Dec 2013, Sunday

... I tried to control my emotional after I get to know you are really into a new relationship... ( bit sad but know you were happy with her, everything is doesn't matter anymore)

Before this, I thought I am already settle down my feeling towards you. Matter fact, I was so damn wrong!! I'm so pissed why I feel upset and tears down when I knew it!

Maybe the reason is you were giving a lame excuse for the broke up.. I dont blame you.. just I hope you be more brave when facing this kind of matter... I was telling you once we broke, we never be friend anymore... I meant it, because its not necessary you keep me as a "friend", why so weirdo... I want be cool la wei hahaa

I was thinking, can I delete you from FB? aiyoo sound childish hoooo :P (my mind telling me, leave it la. Let him sometime miss you also not bad. hehe) I'm thinking too much.


My baby ever asked me: "will you back to him if he wanted?"
My answer will never be YES, even I ever think about it...
This is because I believe once he got the courage to say break up, there will be next time.

Sayonara~~

When the one start a new relationship mean they already left the EX behind. Well, human being always chase after things come better with them. But what I hate is sometime people like to "share" about their 'previous' story. Hope this time you know what I felt last time and avoid to do so.

Sincerely hope all the best for you!
There will be no another Katherine Teoh who treat you like shit in your life anymore.
Really GOD blessed you lo :P
Hopefully your new angel always standby you, lead you to the brighter future. ^^

I have a plan... Get a place and bury all the memory! (Any suggestions?? Hmmm, google search ! (n.n)

Really thank you for those friends who concerned about me.
When u know me, U know I will emo sometimes. After that I'm gone crazy and did something surprising~!

As my believe again, I BELIEVE THERE IS SOMEONE WAITING ME AT SOMEWHERE! ^^

缘尽缘灭

11 May 2013. This is sad to write this article here as the previous article was talking about how sweet of our anniversary trip and now this is to story about the end of our love...

Me, myself had been struggled for few months because of the happens that make me realize there is many things u treat me so different. That were not about how good or bad u treat me but I feel your heart is getting away. 

As the moment u told me that u are going to give up the relationship, seriously I cant take it because it sounds a lame excuse. My heart was broken and the time u keep avoid to communicate with me to this matter. U began impatient, avoid and totally unclear when respond to me.

 I was clueless...Maybe during the period I was too emotional.. but what's wrong for a woman to chase for love? U weren't giving the correct answer and u was hiding something from me too. 

I was lonely... When my heart broke into pieces, the one who always standby me is not you anymore.. but its the time and space.. 

I was nervous... The moments u ignore me more the more insecure I get. 

I was depress... This is the worst situation I ever face in my life! I cried everyday when u ask me stay at your home but u insisted that we sleep separate room that u wanted to focus on your work. I understood but this is not u anymore... last time no matter how busy u are u like to grab me into your arm embrace together into dream. One thing U show me u're hiding something is U get mad when I try to help u see the map (WAZE) while u're driving.. ( Did u remember this/?) I guess u was not remember at all... 

I am really depressed!! I cried because I know I'm losing u gradually... I become mad, hatred, and even negative as u said! When the woman u love is crying, u wont come to comfy but u blaming her... I am on the edge of depression... I was wake up with the anxious mind, losing my positive energy, affected unhealthy conditions... BUT WHO CARE? 

Till I found out that's a MIRACLE appear in my life... I was doubted whether should I tell you the truth or not? What's the reason u take the responsibility?? What u had respond to me cause the truth been swollen back into my throat... I was really clueless... Are u still loving me or not... Till I saw the evidence.. Everything is end...

Even the promise that u gave me is ruined! Suddenly I feel my life is meaningless due to my jobless, our failed communication, our lost, my giving towards our love... everything became a nightmare...

I cant either feel you or myself... I'm getting weak while I got to know the happened... I cant feel my heartbeat and its heartbeat... The bleed was hell seriously flood over my consciousness... I know it getting worst of my condition.. I cant even protect myself... 

I  don't know how many time had called and shout on u.. Im going crazy and even you too !

I shout to GOD, am I deserved all the thing ?? I got nobody can help me... HOPELESS! 

Once the despair attack me again and again... the worst thing happen... 

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10 May 2013-- Everything start mess..

I purposely come back here again to collect all my stuff and ready to move on my life...

What make you to feel reluctant to me when I start packing my stuff?? 

The last sweet moment u gave me is you try to grab me and embrace me hardly. I almost let myself lost again . I can feel tonight u're so care bout me. But ur attitude still the same.. U don like to express what you really think of... 

From the days I know u, U were the person who is kind, need to be care, need to be understand. All the sweet moments and love u gave me will become memory soon. I told myself handle thing smoothly... but end up we're like enemy,..

Your ignorance really killing me. I feel like I'd been abandoned. But when U try to be good to me, I doubted. I cant differentiate the mess. I don't know what you want. I got my answer to be steady and to solve all things peafully...

BUT!!! My heart melted when you trying to pulled me back.. I don know whether I feel wrong or not. U miss me, but u never want to mention now. 

Again, all the negative thinking come to remind me whats wrong wit h us. 

I cant take the pain and sorrow anymore... I lost myself...

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Few days past...

I still miss you. I told myself to let u go for what u want to chase for..

U deserved better. I told u again. Just don let yourself to mess into some unfair relationship.

I understand if I were the right one U love, U will never sacrificed me, U will never ignore me again and again.

This our destiny, U start care of other, I m become nobody for u. I controlled myself not to interrupt your life. That was hard, I believe time will heal me. What I lost also what u lost.. U also being upset when I was being mad and accused you.

One thing, don ever ask me to not think too much while the thing happen to me that u don care. Everyone told me to stay strong included u. When I need your care is not possible to happen anymore. The only thing I can share with u is just that one. Nobody can... 

I was reading the SKYPE conversation history... U may lucky to not think of that coz ur pc was lost... 

I love the way when we beginning. its all about caring and understand... Till we stay together, we just know the reality happen need to be communicate always.

My failure to the be one who can accompany u the rest of life. 

I am sorry for everything. 

The end of our love.

Brand new journey for our anniversary

 I'd like thanks to my dear for this planned so long trip. We bought free & easy package at MATTA Fair, but there is unpleasantly happen between us & the travel agency. So for the next trip, we decide to book hotel by our own.

10 Jan 2013 we wake up on the very early 3am to get ourselves prepare before heading off to LCCT for our flight to Phuket. There is only 3 bags for hand carry because we believe it must some extra stuff we bring back from Phuket. I'd like thanks to my dear for this planned so long trip.

self capture while waiting my soh zai buy the McD breakfast, sleepy face~~

Blur blur soh zai hehehe

When we arrived Phuket airport, the local tour guide Mr Sakie was waiting us at the entrance. He start introduce himself & gave us his 'sexy' name card with half naked photo, LOL. He was kind of friendly & telling us our half day tour will begin with shopping in Phuket town. 

Our first station was the small T-shirt factory. When we step into the shop, there is one staff perhaps the shop owner asked for our attention for a little while introduction. He explained that we could not get a good quality T-shirt by 150 baht at Patong beach after all.  We found there are many design of the T-shirt with the kinky sentence & logo such as :" Good man go to heaven, bad guy go to Patong".  We decided to buy some of them for our collection. ^^ (* We found the quality of T-shirt at Patong beach area was totally different with this shop & price are more higher unless u bargain with them). 

Next station will be Cashew Nut factory.  We did not buy the cashew because the price is much more higher than what we can get in Malaysia. 

3rd station is the bee farm. We met a Malaysian Mr who declared he spent almost 40 years in this industry. He invited us into a meeting room & start story about the benefit of honey & pollen. Both of us feel so bored because the end of his purpose is to persuade us buy the product. We refused because we also can get good quality of honey in Malaysia. We can see the respond of the old man after we reject his approached :p Thats fair enough because consumer got the right to not buy something they don't need.

Last station of the half tour is the temple. In Thailand, temple is 'Wat' There are many foreign tourist came here for worship as well. 

Wat in Phuket

After we reached to the APK Resort & Spa, Mr Sakie bring along us to the reception table for check in. There was a small conflict due to what I research of the hotel. What I see is some difference from the photo that posted in the hotel. The APK hotel got some buildings & the block that we check in is what we actually request for. U may find the attracted spot in the hotel was the roof top swimming pool.^^ 

Our hotel location was good enough from those attraction such as Jung Ceylon shopping mall, daily night market & fresh market, bar street & 15 minutes walking distance to Patong beach!! 

After we settle down our luggage to the room, we walk to the Jung Ceylon to hunt for our lunch. My dear was looking forward try the Mcd Pork burger in Thailand. So we decided our 1st meal in Phuket at McD. 

See how much we eat at McDonald ^^

After onward, we get ourselves sightseeing at the shopping mall. The shopping can be said as one of the attraction for tourists. We can see some of them are half naked and walk around the mall. Perhaps they went to beach side & try to cool down the heat of their body:P. Instead, both of us enjoy "wash eyes" while hanging around, hehehe~~

Eye-catching -- Pinky Lucky Star

Kawaii~~

30 years accumulated wires at Patong. Kind of massive & dangerous~

Snack time ^^

The night in Patong, damn crowded~ 

Please don't only drink beer during your Phuket Trip even though the alcohol drinks is much more cheaper than H20 :D

11 Jan 2013-- Our day begin with a very excited feeling. We get ourselves ready for the Patong Beach & city tour! After breakfast, we rent the motor from hotel for 300 baht per day. 

Buffet breakfast in hotel

Vroom~ vroom~ vroom~

The sea & sky are blue, Love them!! 

During sun bath at Karon beach~

Cooling down after hot sun~!

Excited till eat metal LOL

Our blue ocean cocktail after sky pool~~ :)

Time to grab dinner!! 3 for 100 baht (Chicken, beef & pork)

Satisfaction~!! 

We enjoyed the day so so so much. After dinner, both of us fall sleep of the tiredness... Ouhh, din go enjoyed our last night in Phuket... 

12 Jan 2013-- Huhu, we got diarrhea in the early morning. Maybe of  the salty sea water... Somehow, today is the last day for our vacation. After breakfast we went back to room & pack our luggage with unwilling mood :(. Lets talk about the hotel service... We were looking for the person in charge who assist us in the motor rental. But she was not there & the staff told us to be return on around 10am. When the time is almost there, we went down again & yet the staff was not there. We look for the other staff and he tell us that the table was closing by today... WTH~~ the previous staff was suck la.. Anyhow, we manage to get the passport back which put for the guaranty of motor return. 

Finally, time to say goodbye to Phuket. Our driver reached the hotel on time. We also manage arrived to Phuket airport before an hour departure. 

Our brown skin after got sun bath *.* 

The most least I like during this trip is the local people always raise the price to tourist. Somehow we also got the way to spend wisely ^^. We're looking forward for next time to Phuket again!!

War= No mercy

Perfect moment

I've been finding the meaning of true love, true relationship, true partner for a long time.
I never stop to learn these in my life.

I had conflict with my family because I choose to seek job in KL. My dearest mom, she called me almost everyday to make sure that I get job. Even though I was in Penang, she repeatedly asked:" what ya had done today? Already call to make interview appointment?"

Before I get my current job position, I facing the frustration. Finally, I 'ran away' from home~~
 One of the reason I make the choice is because of you... My dearest Anthony.
'U gave me strength to decide my thinking'
'U gave me encouragement while I lost my direction'
' U help me analysis what I had confused'
' U make me smile when I'm unpleasant'
U make me laugh always~~

We met each other.
We fall in love.
We hold hand.
We hug.
We made up.
We argue.
We slapstick (oftenly)
We hit each other butt.
We battle.
We solve problem.
We drunk.
We tickle each other.
We tease each other.

There are many things we had experienced together.
In the future, we will experience more.

The day when we both go meet my mum was the day I felt the blissful ever...
My tear drops because you finally declare that you will take care of me to my mom...
I really cant control the tear that drop happily... Mom was asking y I cry, I lagi cry LOL
I love u mom, no matter I'm still your daughter... Thanks for everything.

Till now, I still got a question inside my deep part of my heart.
I couldn't ask. What I can do is explore more between us.
Since we have the commitment, I believe we can make ppl surrounding  us proud with us & share our happiness.

Because of you, I learnt to be loved & giving... Seriously u are the elf who be with me & my guardian, light up the road when I meet the dark... Thanks so much my dearest~~